Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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