Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
