Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize