Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
