youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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