My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
