apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
