my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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