Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
