I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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