party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
