dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
