does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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