as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
