I like my sex mixed with concussions.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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