when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
