the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
