Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
