i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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