just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize