I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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