So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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