Don't you send me to vm
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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