what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
