Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
How external is "for external use only"?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
