Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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