PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
