If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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