Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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