so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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