Screwed.edu
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize