UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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