ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
