i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
