i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
