I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You can't just leave with hair like that
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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