Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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