My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize