PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I still have a little drunk in my system
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
