I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
