dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
