OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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