but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
