508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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