do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
