I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
