I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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