the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
