Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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