Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
