I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
