I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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