i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
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