Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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