Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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