Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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