belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
