why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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