Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
