my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
