Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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