I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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