did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
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