Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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