Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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